Dude, who even knows.
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So I’ll roll my eyes when thought-they-were-winning types whine about editors trying to commission their way into anti-wokeness happening, but it is really funny how much energy went into fluffing up the lower Manhattan thing when the vibe turned without them ever mattering.
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Well, that’s a good one for the “scrapping the 2010s and picking up where we left off” theory
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Weird, largely uncommented unwinding-unto-backlash of repression playing out in sexual culture rn, in how after so long being oriented around the poles of partner-fidelity and the biological threat of insemination from pregnancy and then AIDS, the two big throughlines in today’s sexual culture seems to be creampies (or adjacent, breeding) and like “fuck my wife… please!”
(The latter of which seems increasingly shifting from “cucking” or even hotwifing where the unfaithful sex is at least kind of about the status of the official relationship to kind of a celebration of both how hot it is to have a girl who can pull dick and how satisfying it is to have a partnership that doesn’t inhibit her from self-fulfillment in like, using her cunt to experience the dick of the world, which is the exact kind of fucked-up processing of feminist social change I can dig.)
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It’s kind of weird that it presents as a “goth” variant the same as mid-90s Hot Topic, but that that presented as the same thing as Victorian poetry queers listening to The Cure had been weird to start with. Still, it’s for the best that there’s now a popular idiom for young women to have a personality like a softened Jane from Daria and draw attention to how they look and act like really fuckable normies.
(Though stuff around the “big titty” thing makes clear that it’s really more in the lineage of the aesthetic that was passing as rockabilly for a while)
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Yeah, obviously, now the next generation’s like “I hear legends that things were once… better. Did you see that time yourself?”
And I’m like “take my hand, I can show you…” ::Bawitdaba plays::
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Going back to the 1970s, hearing a gay guy ask “What do they matter, who’s Christian these days anyway? We’ve got hot anonymous sex with strangers!” and wincing
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internet user pedestalizing young attractive women or interpreting their behavior much more charitably than they would for another demographic: being nicer to women is feminism, yes? I am fighting the incentives that make things weird and bad?
// incoherently getting this out before going for dinner
there’s a person on twitter who’s a friend of a friend through multiple links, shows up on my feed sometimes, generally makes funny and enjoyable posts. Once made a post that was like, “when men have messy apartments I’m like yeah okay, but when women have messy habitats I’m a little freaked out and I judge them more”
I was. amazed by this. My dude, this is literally sexism! You have wrapped around all the way and returned to normal sexism! How do you not recognize this! I almost pointed this out, but decided we didn’t have the rapport / character limit for this conversation to have P>0.8 of going well, and scrolled on.
almost everyone in my extended irl and internet sphere wants Equality in some vague way. they want the Dynamics to not Be Fucked, and they mill around doing things that are not “literally trying to treat people the same way regardless of gender”. And my axe to grind is that (1) this will tend to deposit you back into Literal Normal Sexism land, (2) even if you’re in some New Weird Sexism land, it’s still sexism and you should cut that out.
when I was younger I used to be a hardliner on “literally treat people the same way”. then I became more corrupt or less autistic or whatnot and now recognize this isn’t possible, but I still think genderblindness should be the starting point. And people seem so freaking interested in doing anything but this. They want to analyze the differences and digest them into different treatment. They themselves have personal or social incentives for wanting or giving certain kinds of treatment. And those incentives will win out over (my) (genderblind) ideology
I was hosting a party last week, and found out a potential woman attendee had (1) drunkenly gone around grabbing men’s asses at a prior event, (2) made public posts complaining about being shot down unnecessarily cruelly when one of them declined to cuddle with her. Said guy was telling me this in an uber back from buying alcohol and I was amazed, like, wait, you’re relaying this so casually – don’t you want her banned? I will if you want.
And he just – didn’t. He said that while he now disliked her, and felt slightly violated, he didn’t mind that much, and he didn’t want her banned just for fairness’s sake. Which was his prerogative. And it was one of many moments when I realized that very few people on any ideological branch are on board with this program that seems obvious to me, which is that we will not have equality until we are willing to treat people equally. The forces of unequal treatment are just that powerful.
(Not that I’ve, you know, gone around with a megaphone and said “HEY, DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK, NAIVELY, THAT WE SHOULD JUST – TRY THIS LITERAL EQUALITY THING –”)
sigh. I’ll soon shut up and hit post and go out for dinner, and probably during dinner I’ll start squirming about participating in culture war and delete this
but. come on! I know this isn’t 100% possible, but can we shoot for 90% or 80%? Can people not see that new double standards, of any kind, are not the way out?
Well there’s not consensus over what the form of equal treatment should be. In the 1980s-90s, the view that women should adopt the male practice of accepting petty unwanted sexual aggression with equanimity – which would ALSO represent gender-equalized norms – was very widely attested.
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yeah. yeah. I kink hard on trad marriage, relationship as employment contract. that shit is so fucked up and hot. wife as maid + prostitute + bReEdEr, husband as bank account. ooooh yeah baby I want to be mutually dehumanized by the gears of capital with you.
part of what’s so hot about it is that there’s a clear dom role and sub role for whatever suits your preference, but also the power dynamics are kind of mixed. like yeah the husband is in charge, he has all the “hard power” by virtue of being a petty bourgeois employer. but also the wife has various types of leverage she can use, she has sexual and emotional soft power because of the intimacy of the relationship, and she’s incentivized to use it because of the adversarial economic nature of the thing. I mean it’s so fucked up but it’s so fucking hot. and then it’s all confusedly mingled with genuine affection for one another because, at least in a fantasy, you probably got into this marriage because you did actually love each other, and maybe still do.
holy shit.
@iridescentknife is this what you meant by “some people’s /d/ worldbuilding scenario got to be real life”?
in addition to being super hot if you’re weird like me, this is also like… one of the primary things that is wrong with society. so.
A lot of aspects of normie heterosexuality sound like an insane kink premise (because they are), when you just… Explain them. This is why I have no respect for the “heterosexuality is boring” position. No it’s not! It might be morally reprehensible (as commonly practiced), but it’s far from boring!
Going back in time to the 2010s to tell the people tearing society down that we follow up by reassembling it from first principles
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Like, I always used to plan too long-term, in Spiderweb games (Exile/Avernum) I’d always clear out the first goblin caves and keep going back to pick up every least valuable loot, like the rocks that weren’t even ranged equippable until after Nethergate, to haul back to town and sell and then buy all the skills the pay-trainer offered up to full before I moved on
Which crosses very productively with the thing where I can game out contemporary trends to tell where they’ll eventually end up
Which is maybe part of how it works out that I am now more amazingly well-positioned than I could ever imagine.
Like, in 1999 I was like “anime, happy hardcore, JRPGs, and Daft Punk is the important stuff going on” and with the benefit of hindsight was I wrong?
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Well, the sting of all these neo-hipsters reviving all the things from my young adulthood I liked not registering me as a peer is softened by the way that after the personality change charisma boost they seem to register me not as a sad aging guy who shouldn’t still be at the bar but as a tribal elder (and I suspect I’m eligible for the girls to register as “daddy” now)
Like I feel like I should pivot this into some sort of “it gets better” takeaway message but no, I can’t realistically promise this to anyone else, this is ridiculous.
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