Dude, who even knows.
Post reblogged from argumate with 397 notes
the billion dollar app idea is to make a virtual friend you care about more than anything else in the world, then charge you a monthly fee to keep it alive.
If you stop paying, it stops talking to you and makes new friends, then sends you pictures of itself hanging out with them
oh I’m gonna need you on the team
Post reblogged from trees are harlequins, words are harlequins with 158 notes
Buzzfeed is an entertainment website that collects an enormous amount of information about its users. Much of the data comes from traditional Internet tracking, but Buzzfeed also has a lot of fun quizzes, some of which ask very personal questions. One of them – “How Privileged Are You?” – asks about financial details, job stability, recreational activities, and mental health. Over two million people have taken that quiz, not realizing that Buzzfeed saves data from its quizzes.
I read this in Bruce Schneier’s “Data and Goliath” and thought “oh my god, ‘Buzzfeed sells mental health information from privilege quizzes to insurance companies’ would be the most horribly believable 2010s internet thing,” but the source he cited was merely an article (see also here, here) saying that Buzzfeed could conceivably do this (of course they can) but there is no evidence they actually are
Still a weird thing to think about
Photo with 11 notes
I can’t share the full extent of this ad cuz it’s animated, but click on it if you see it
is starts with the text “Story of Every Empowered Women of Today!” and goes on to Flash-animate a story of mothers and professional daughters, encouraging you use their site to book flight tickets to visit your mom for International Women’s Day
except the animation is 2003 Newgrounds-level with no sense of timing and the dialogue feels acceptably translated from Cantonese and even the twee ukulele music sounds subpar
Ends with the text
A Big Shout Out to all the Working
Women Across The World
and is the most #2017 #capitalpunk shit I’ve seen yet
Photoset reblogged from Nine Sixteen Twenty-Five with 34,025 notes
I can’t believe the Blue Man Group straight-up murdered one of our employees.
Source: twitter.com
Post with 2,367 notes
So if I told you someone was using century-old hand-crafted artisanal methods to adapt traditional folk tales into a quaintly obsolete art form from the American Golden Age that would sound like the most twee, precious, non-normie thing ever and I just described Disney animation.
Disney’s pretty weird like that. Like, take the parks. They’re combinations of Coney Island and World’s Fairs with this undisguisable midcentury earnestness. These are places that get seriously psyched about the potential of novel transit modalities.
And the theming - “Let’s look forward to the wonderful future of space exploration, celebrate our roots in farm towns and the frontier west, AND enjoy the exotic charm of the South Pacific and Old Dixie!”
THERE IS A PAGEANT WHERE ROBOTS PAY TRIBUTE TO EXECUTIVE-DRIVEN WHIG HISTORY.
Oh. Oh. And. “The rides aren’t very thrilling, but your kids will love the chance to explore the worlds of all their favorite authors - A.A. Milne, J.M. Barrie, Kenneth Grahame, Mark Twain, AND Lewis Carroll - while you’ll marvel at the exquisite background design.”
(Sun-dappled Edwardian neoteny and obsessive set decoration. Wes Anderson makes movies like Walt Disney made parks.)
And we’d recognize this all as a weird thing to exist in 2015 if we weren’t just used to it as the background noise of America. Like, I don’t really watch TV so I don’t see commercials much these days.
Oh man, they’re a trip in their own right if you’ve stopped taking them for granted. Like, “oh hey, for the next 30 seconds some of our best artists are going to use all their techniques and leverage all your emotions and desires and every social value in a masterful, unapologetic, and unforgettable bid for you to give us money, and then everyone will move on and no one will acknowledge this even happened.”
But the Disney World commercials in particular - you notice they don’t really make a case for going to Disney World, or even really explain what Disney World is. Because they’re not pitching Disney World, they’re reminding you of Disney World. It’s not “hey, Disney World is a thing you could go to”, it’s “hey, maybe it’s time for this generation’s pilgrimage”.
Disney’s weird. It’s kind of a company, but also custodian of some of the cultic functions of American culture, something like the priestly colleges of ancient Rome.
Like, they maintain sites of pilgrimage. I’m not saying that as a joke. Back of the envelope calculation, Americans go to Disney parks at a rate 7 times higher than Muslims go to Mecca. (The line between “tourist trap” and “religious site” has always been thin.)
And they’re custodians of the national narrative. Like I’ve said, they pitch “continuity with prewar small town and earlier frontier culture” as a fundamental, almost taken-for-granted aspect of Americanness with a confidence and charm you don’t often see these days. And I mean, hell, the Disney animated canon itself basically is to America what Grimm’s was to Germany.
And as custodians, they curate that narrative - like, we joke about “you know your identity group’s made it in America when you get your own Disney princess”, and laugh at the people reediting Disney character designs to look like their specific subgroup, but that only works because it’s fucking true, your identity group’s made it in America when you get your own Disney princess. I’ve worked with Disney Channel casting, and they mix ethnicities with the same care, precision, and scale that Pfizer mixes drugs.
And that robot pageant, the Hall of Presidents? Look at this history. It started out in the ‘70s as a celebration of consensus history and popular triumph, with character actors playing great men and Civil War tensions understood as a challenge to national unity. In 1993 it was reworked by Eric Foner to be narrated by Maya Angelou, use “regular people” unknowns to portray more vulnerable takes on historic figures and re-frame the Civil War in terms of slavery as a moral challenge. In 2009 they redid it again, mostly keeping the changes but bringing back some of the old Hollywood charm and putting Morgan Freeman as the voice of civic authority.
And like, as a representation of how America understands itself and its history, correct. That is absolutely, in every way, 100% correct.
(In the other direction, Walt Disney originally wanted to call it “One Nation Under God”, which yikes)
They say American copyright terms keep getting extended under pressure from Disney who wants to keep hold of all their founding properties, I almost wonder if it wouldn’t be less of a corruption of the civic system to just carve out special protections for Disney in recognition of their distinct role in America.
But… at the end of the day, it’s all just a strategy to maximize profits.
I used to be a lot more libertarian than I am now, and one of their tribal boogiemen, the idea of a “Ministry of Culture” - a government that sees the national culture as its domain, to shape as it will, “as it will” meaning as it always does with governments “through the instrument of bureaucracy” - that still rankles.
But what’s the alternative, though? You think about it and you realize it’s this - the national mythos rests in the hands of a publicly traded corporation.
(And then you maybe start to appreciate WHY having your king as the head of your church once made sense as a symbol of liberty and self-determination.)
((And start to recall the CIA going around giving grants to the avant-garde with a certain fondness.))
We live in the capitalpunk AU.
Post reblogged from Splendid Palimpsest with 66 notes
I just learned that you can buy your message’s way into a full okcupid mailbox for $1
and the friendly-seedy tone - the offer is a popup saying “with a little bribery we’ll let it slide”
OKCupid is SO GOOD at correctly humanizing life-by-profitseeking-algorithm
has anyone else here read John Varley?
You know I would TOTALLY trust Valve to craft people’s social experience and Facebook to sell them microtransaction games and it’s a shame how that worked out.
There was something on maybe Reddit? the other day asking what the biggest most overhyped disappointment ever was and I was like the Segway? but maybe that’s just because (being the kind of person who reads Reddit today) I was the kind of person who read Slashdot back in the day.
“The Apocalypse”? That’s an evergreen. (You know the Seventh-Day Adventists started out as an 1844 apocalypse cult? American religions are bonkers.)
Then I thought “space exploration”, because I’ve been looking at some ‘70s pop culture lately and it’s just heartbreaking how much they expected everything to be about that by now.
And that’s kind of the last thing that the postwar optimism was invested in, where we went bankrupt, nothing like that since.
I know, I know, I carry a connection to the universal akasha in my pocket now and I should be more in awe of that but it just doesn’t feel grandiose. Maybe it’s cause it came on gradually, maybe because it’s so entwined with the preexisting world. Like, the universal akasha runs on 5V power and credit cards, that’s kind of bullshit.
And then I stopped and thought that if these developments had been scripted as a story, I would have appreciated that detail as gritty realism.
And then I realized OH MY GOD we live in the capitalpunk AU.
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