Uh … “fuck croissants”? I’ve never had croissants … I know what you’re asking
This you?
That’s me. I do not eat croissants, the way I eat crackers or fruit. My father would ask me, “Who do you have a crush on?” and I would say “No one, Dad” and he would say “But you do something with that croissant.”
Aries: “It’s hard to get a job as a video game developer when you’re a gibbon. There have been enough accidents with gibbons breaking into computers it’s a difficult field to test video games in. Also, gibbons can hear the thoughts of others so it’s hard to get a job as a gibbon games programmer. You can’t even get into grad school.”
Pisces: “It’s hard to get a job as a video game developer when you’re pregnant. If the game developer sees your belly, they might not release your next title due to budget concerns. Don’t be pregnant. You can do this job but you’ll get fired after delivering the game yourself.”
“fucked in the ass by a train” is a genre of advertising which might be tolerable in a world where trains don’t run into the asses of the pedestrians they run into (and thus don’t run over people on the side, and so forth)
*slow blink*
That last reblog i-
“Fucked in the ass by a train” as an Adjective is one of those things that I really wonder what on earth people could have been thinking when they invented it
Just read about this vast ancient flood in South America. It seems like it would’ve covered the continents in an open-ocean environment, producing continents that were basically jigsaw puzzle pieces jiggled into shape by the weight of all that water.
There are surely other theories for plate tectonics, but the thing where so much of the world was covered by water at one point in the distant past seems hard to explain without magic. And yet I’m not sure this would’ve been the most interesting example of a singular event in history.
2) Being drunk (not “drinking under the influence” but “drinking at all”)
3) Riding an e-scooter
4) Petting a dog without a leash
5) Using an e-scooter in public
6) Talking over loud music
7) Selling scooters or parts thereof
8) Selling e-scooters or parts thereof
9) Hiring an e-scooter without a helmet
10) Using an e-scooter in a manner manifestly forbidden by law
11) Selling prescription drugs contrary to zoning regulations
12) Selling cannabis or any product containing cannabis (excluding butter) contrary to zoning regulations
13) Having a party where alcohol is served in view of people underage
14) Selling a good or service which can be converted into a good or service which can be converted into addictive substances
15) “Re-selling” a good or service which has been previously “re-sold” by another person for a fee incompatible with identical production and sale of the first good or service
LICENCE AND REGISTRATION
1) Taking a shower while the washing machine is on and drying your hair with a towel
2) Washing the dishes after a night out
3) Wiping your nose with your hand without declaring it immediately after, then lying to the doctor that you don’t need to go to the doctor
4) Saying you’re allergic to an asthmatic medicine or you don’t want a prescription refill
5) Selling or offering to sell a prescription drug contrary to the law
REGISTRATION
1) Selling a motorised scooter without the vehicle’s registration number written on it.
2) Selling three identical copies of this motorised scooter.
3) Selling a motorised scooter on production day in a car without a license plate which reads “XYZ Z X Y”.
4) Taking a picture of a motor scooter with the camera’s back facing the camera without writing or having written.
5) Selling a motorised scooter which is identical to a motor scooter which is identical to a motor scooter which is identical to one of three identical motorised scooters mentioned in paragraph 4.
6) Selling a motorised scooter which is not on the road and which cannot be used off the road or used in an undefined manner.
7) Selling a motorised scooter to a customer on a day the customer has not paid for their scooter and the customer did not make any advance agreement to pay.
8) Selling a motorised scooter to a customer after buying their scooter for a price below the scooter’s value.
9) Selling a motorised scooter without informing the buyer that the person selling the scooter has never made a scooter with a value lower than $3000.
10) Selling a motorised scooter to the government.
LICENCE AND REGISTRATION REQUIRED!
#i wish i had the same impulse to give bad answers
You’re doing fine, champ
Thanks!
Saying you’re allergic to an asthmatic medicine
Cool
Selling three identical copies of this motorised scooter
Cool
Selling a motorised scooter which is identical to a motor scooter which is identical to a motor scooter which is identical to one of three identical motorised scooters mentioned in paragraph 4.
Uh oh
Selling a motorised scooter which is not on the road and which cannot be used off the road or used in an undefined manner
Okay, no worries, that’s a scooter. It’s a scooter. We trust the cops.
Selling a motorised scooter to a customer on a day the customer has not paid for their scooter but the customer did not make any advance agreement to pay
A valid deal, and a clever deal, but it sounds kind of fake. It’s a rare thing to hear of someone paying for a scooter without any arrangement to buy. I guess you could be buying at an auction or a charity or something.
Selling a motorised scooter which is not on the road and which cannot be used off the road or used in an undefined manner
Okay, no worries, that’s a scooter. It’s a scooter.
Selling a motorised scooter to the government
Well gosh I don’t want to want anyone to go to the government
I don’t want to go to the government
Selling a motorised scooter which is not on the road and which cannot be used off the road or used in an undefined manner
2) Being drunk (not “drinking under the influence” but “drinking at all”)
3) Riding an e-scooter
4) Petting a dog without a leash
5) Using an e-scooter in public
6) Talking over loud music
7) Selling scooters or parts thereof
8) Selling e-scooters or parts thereof
9) Hiring an e-scooter without a helmet
10) Using an e-scooter in a manner manifestly forbidden by law
11) Selling prescription drugs contrary to zoning regulations
12) Selling cannabis or any product containing cannabis (excluding butter) contrary to zoning regulations
13) Having a party where alcohol is served in view of people underage
14) Selling a good or service which can be converted into a good or service which can be converted into addictive substances
15) “Re-selling” a good or service which has been previously “re-sold” by another person for a fee incompatible with identical production and sale of the first good or service
LICENCE AND REGISTRATION
1) Taking a shower while the washing machine is on and drying your hair with a towel
2) Washing the dishes after a night out
3) Wiping your nose with your hand without declaring it immediately after, then lying to the doctor that you don’t need to go to the doctor
4) Saying you’re allergic to an asthmatic medicine or you don’t want a prescription refill
5) Selling or offering to sell a prescription drug contrary to the law
REGISTRATION
1) Selling a motorised scooter without the vehicle’s registration number written on it.
2) Selling three identical copies of this motorised scooter.
3) Selling a motorised scooter on production day in a car without a license plate which reads “XYZ Z X Y”.
4) Taking a picture of a motor scooter with the camera’s back facing the camera without writing or having written.
5) Selling a motorised scooter which is identical to a motor scooter which is identical to a motor scooter which is identical to one of three identical motorised scooters mentioned in paragraph 4.
6) Selling a motorised scooter which is not on the road and which cannot be used off the road or used in an undefined manner.
7) Selling a motorised scooter to a customer on a day the customer has not paid for their scooter and the customer did not make any advance agreement to pay.
8) Selling a motorised scooter to a customer after buying their scooter for a price below the scooter’s value.
9) Selling a motorised scooter without informing the buyer that the person selling the scooter has never made a scooter with a value lower than $3000.
10) Selling a motorised scooter to the government.
LICENCE AND REGISTRATION REQUIRED!
#i wish i had the same impulse to give bad answers
