So I have definitely been having a midlife crisis only minus the ability to feel loss or regret and with the sense already that I have moved away from the person I was to one that more closely matches my idealized visions from youth.

So what’s left is mostly appreciating finitude remaining. Like, 40 years was a long fucking time, but I can now at least somewhat wrap my mind around it as a finite amount. And like, I have about one of those left.

Maybe a bit more! My dad was born in 1938 and he’s still alive, showing a few limits these last 5 years, but maybe with 45 years of American Golden Age on him I’ll make it to 100 and be vital til 90.

But still, I don’t think I have two left.

Who knows, maybe in the 60 years to then AGI will figure how to make us immortal. Yet, that’s where my mind’s at lately.