just like Burton's first Batman was about NYC's 80s "urban crisis", violence on the streets, Batman Returns was about the turn to the '90s and the return of the city, as the never-left faction of unmarried women traded image as mousy to leather-clad dominatrix sexy, and meanwhile the Penguin, disgustingly waddlingly fat… with freakishly large nose… cut off from his heritage… laughably styling himself as heir to the old urban ruling class…

huh.

Like, I get it, penguins really do have beaks, waddle, and look like they're wearing tuxedos, and have since before Moses came down from the mountain, but still this take on a character from pulp fiction set in German Expressionist ersatz-NYC is in fact all those things, plus he starts the movie being set in a basket to float down a river, uses a businessman named for the German actor who played lead in Nosferatu as a front, and after his attempt to win a PR war against the rightful old-money heir to the city fails when his vulgarity is revealed and the people reject him (and the sexy single woman figure rejects him as hideously unappealing) he strikes out at high society by stealing their children and killing their firstborn sons.

Like, holy shit you guys.