Hm, the anxiety, all unsolicited negative projections of the future, edging back in again, I worry – worry! – and I guess it's within a reasonable timeframe to be working up to another mania. Fuck, I was hoping that wasn't going to be a thing now.
You know maybe it's sleep deprivation though, I've been making myself get out of bed when I could've gone back another cycle or two a few times lately as I take care of stuff with a drop dead date but that's over now, maybe I should just go back to sleep
Ohh, but I have difficulty restraining my trotting (not yet racing) mind enough to fall asleep, that points back to impending mania
I first picked up on the bipolar stuff in college as periodically recurring insomnia (and then I was first professionally diagnosed in the opposite direction off the down phases as depression)