ah god been up like 80 hours cant go to sleep suddenly like moderate fatigue now but no tiredness, i lose the thread on long boring multi-clause sentences but no microsleeps, this is dumb
managed right after that, thanks in part to a rainshower that set the atmosphere and soundtrack. that was weird, no feeling of intensity like my earlier thought-bipolar insomnias that lasted at most 40 or so, just a kind of clarity, like when you’re coming down from LSD and it took the place of a sleep cycle
towards the end my back muscles were killing me from never losing tone and I redeveloped the ability to catastrophize like I haven’t since the personality change cut my anxiety and spent some time appreciating my concerns for the arc of Portland and my life