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i lost a cat
So I told you I got this cat, I told you about that. How I got this cat from an ex-roommate who realized he couldn’t afford a cat, and I took it in, and he was so friendly and doglike. How every night he’d sleep in my lap and every morning when I was starting to wake up he’d ease me into it by coming up to cuddle in my armpit for five minutes and then burrowing under the covers with me. How when I was in the middle of a big transition and feeling pretty lonely he was kind of my rock of emotional comfort.
How I’d thought of him as a girl for a long time and now that I realized he was a boy and it was time to get him spayed I felt weird and decided to rationalize that it was a transsexual cat. That’d kind of fallen apart from being around roommates who knew the cat as a boy from the get-go, and I was wondering what to do now.
Well that doesn’t fucking matter now, because he’s dead. He went and got hit by a car in front of the house tonight. He was 8 months old.
And if that wasn’t poignant enough, I’d taken him back to my place in Pennsylvania for Christmas last year and my parents both bonded with him. They came into town for the week today and said hi to him. We went for a walk around the neighborhood and he followed me down the sidewalk a bit and then just waited looking after me. When we were done with dinner we came back, I took him inside and fed him, and then jumped in my parents’ car to get back to their hotel.
And before I got back home, my roommate called to tell me.
God fucking DAMMIT. I knew this was a possibility with outdoor cats, but everyone seems to keep outdoor cats around here, and he seemed to like it so much, and everytime I’d seen him crossing the street he’d waited for traffic to clear, but just God fucking DAMMIT, you know?
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